How to Help Someone Who Doesn’t Want Help?
Question by Yara Rivera: How to help someone who doesn’t want help?
For the past month now I found out that my boyfriends brother (Gary) has been doing drugs (and we don’t know how long he has been using because he refuses to tell us). I (age: 23) live with my boyfriend Chris (age 33). Chris’s family and I have brought back his brother from where he used to live with us. We knew what Gary was doing and the family wanted to help immediately so it won’t go further to hurt not only him but the rest of the family. We all had an intervention about his drug use and he kept saying he’s not a drug addict and he doesn’t want the help. The family didn’t want to pressure him into going to get therapy, so we left it alone. He was obviously not what he used to be and he was constantly picking on his little brother and threatening him. It got to the point we called the cops on him and took him away.
Later when the police let him go, he decided to back where he used to live in San Jose. He was at a home to help him with his drug addiction and he decided he wanted to leave after the first two days and he’s back at the house with us, till this day we still don’t know if he is still using drugs and he has also have been recently to a hospital to be treated for “mental illness” the doctors prescribed him medication. The doctors don’t know what he diagnosed and they have not yet at an answer for us. He is a lot more different from the first time he came back from San Jose. He was taken from the police today because he decided to hack away at a couch with a pickaxe. The family doesn’t want to abandoned him because he doesn’t want to go to a treatment center. At the same time we don’t feel safe and comfortable with him being at the house. I’ve never had to deal with this before nor have I experience this in my whole life. I love this family, and I want to contribute and help and be there for them. Unfortunately I don’t know where to start or what to say to them to help. Any suggestions?
Best answer:
Answer by Ashlee Thomas
There is only one way to help him, and that is to absolutely CUT HIM OFF. Please trust me, I am a drug addict myself, I spent all of June at the famous Hazelden treatment center and I spent July, August and some of September in an extended care program called New Found Life. This man DOES have a mental illness, drug addiction is a disease. If you (or anyone) continue to give him a place to stay and food to eat, he will NEVER get better. Drugs are all that matters to him right now and as long as someone else is providing food and shelter for him to survive he will continue to use drugs for as long as he lives. You HAVE to kick him out, refuse to take care of him any longer, he may not WANT to go to a treatment center but once he is cut off he will have no other choice. It’s much easier said than done, but it is absolutely the only way he will get better. Like I said, I am a drug addict and I just got out of rehab, if you want to talk more about it or need more information feel free to send me a message, I’d be happy to try and help in any way I can.
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