I Want Supervised Visits or No Visits…what Can I Do?
Question by Aeon: I want supervised visits or no visits…what can I do?
I want a divorce for too many reasons. But I live in NY and it’s tricky here. Although I have grounds of Inhumane treatment I can’t let my 2 babies even go in a car ride with him. I need to make it so there are supervised visits or no visits by getting him on something. He has an abusive nature -not physically but emotionally to me and them and he’s just terrible, always has been, and probably always will be. What sort of things or collection of things will make this work? Or how can I get some good proof…good enough for the court. I know if the kids were old enough they could say but they are not. Which in my opinion is stupid…I mean they could easily say things now…would it be counted for anything if they said that daddy is nasty and mean and only mommy takes care of them? What did it for you if you have gotten custody of your kids and the father has little or no visits? Should I videotape the way he acts on a day to day basis? Do family member opinions count for anything? What about what I think qualifies him as a bad father? I’m so tired of being this way….for years I’ve been unhappy and stuck around so the girls could grow up with dad but he’s not or ever was good to them. I will do what I can I just need to know what. I really won’t go through with this if he gets the kids in a way I don’t want which is unsupervised or unsafe. Please HELP!
Oh for those out there who think I’m just trying to hurt him….no I’m trying to save my kids. He has mental breakdowns and everything he could actually have a mental disability or dysfunction. Totals cars and he really is no good to them or me. He works but the money doesn’t even matter…I work too so I know we could do it. But again I need to be sure absolutely sure that this happens -you don’t understand…He is NOT safe and he is incapable of doing what I do. He is incapable of compassion and love. i will document. I will do what I can…because I don’t want him as an example any more of how marriage and relationships work. They deserve better…My life comes second to theirs. It’s hard because noone ever really sees the home life.
Best answer:
Answer by everythingspeachy2000
You can ask for a Volunteer Guardian Ad Litem. Not an attorney one..the volunteers do the work…they talk to everyone and do a through investigation and gives it to the court. they are with you throughout your case.
They talk to doctors, neighbors, teachers, ministers, shrinks EVERYONE that will talk to them. They do police checks and hosptial records etc.
They make recommendations to the court. We are able to keep unstable parents away from them by family mediation and counseling and supervised visits. The GAL documents everything.
BUT..you also have to know that unless the GAL does not see it your way…and all too often we get horror stories like this and find out the parents are arguing and not keeping in mind what is the best interest of the child.
We ABSOLUTELY look out for the best interest of the children..including spending alone time with them and talking to them etc. The GAL can DEMAND anger management, counseling…drug and alcohol rehab etc. Usually whatever the GAL says is gold. The judges rely on them for what can’t get into court otherwise…and that is spending time with the children and all DOCUMENTED information. ALL recommendations and what is said is documented and not just say so. We are HIGHLY trained for this.! I am a mentor and trainer and believe me …we look over and edit all reports going into the court so it does not show bias.
BUT this is only AFTER you file. It is up to you….but without someone to document and help you figure this out…you pretty much are on the mercy of the court. Right now parents rights cannot be severed unless they are both severed. That is only done for adoption reasons. You can get supervised visits or only through a family mediation service which one of you has to pay for..usually the parent that is being monitored.
Dads …no matter how horrible they are to YOU…are still the father of your children. Courts take that very seriously. Your children do have a voice in court through a GAL and through counseling.
You MIGHT want to get them into counseling and see what is revealed there….that is usable in court!
You can get copies of his accidents …that is all public records…or any criminal record….
If he is having breakdowns and has been in the hospital you MIGHT be able to get those records….since you are still married…I do know COURT can get them.
This is a long process….it takes about a year to get through this….
Good luck.
More Drug Rehab Treatment Ny Information…