What Do You Think of My Story?

Question by iluvvu! :]: What do you think of my story?
Okay, first of all, I’m concerned about my two main characters, who are two gay teenage boys in love with each other, despite homophobia, might be Gary Stus. Help with that?

One of the boys is Colin LaRue. He’s a brunette, gay (obviously), curvy, with dark blue eyes. He just moved to Illinois from California. His name was totally random, I was being rushed. As a person, he’s overly kind, which gets him in trouble with drug abuse later on in the story. He’s quiet, and he’s hated for his homosexuality and fashion choices (He looks like an emo kid.) His friends consist of his bf, his bf’s sister and her friends, and later on, a few druggie friends.

The other one, Trace Monroe, is a little different than his boyfriend. He has black (dyed) hair, gray eyes, and he’s very self conscious about his weight, but he’s very skinny. His name comes from my very hot cousin’s name, Chase, and Jayy Von Monroe. (Hence, Trace Monroe.) He’s loud, outgoing, but he’s still nice. He loves Colin more than anything in the world, but is forced to leave him. He steals his sister’s eyeliner :3

As for the plot. Could you all tell me what you think? Colin and Trace love each other through hate. When everyone stares, and laughs, they still love each other. They meet at a GSA meeting, and they spark from there. They go to a dance just as friends, but end up dancing together. Soon after that, they go on their first date. And then, after a kiss shared outside a Wendys, they begin falling deeper and deeper in love. A jock tries to hurt them, but Trace hurts him back, standing up for Colin. They get detention for beating up the jock, and they have a small makeout session when the teacher is gone.
After a few months of dating, they go to prom together, and end up doing some… things together. It seems like nothing could break them up. It’s a little more of this lovey dovey stuff, when the main problem starts up. Colin’s hanging out alone late at night in a park outside his house after a fight with Trace, when he’s approached by a few young guys, who look to be about 20. They give him drugs, and he decides to try them to tick Trace off. It’s heroin, and they help him take it. Eventually, he gets addicted. Meanwhile, the fight’s had negative effects on Trace as well. Colin made the remark that Trace was fat, so he begins to skip meals. A meal or two a week becomes a meal or two a day, and it’s becoming apparent that he isn’t eating, but he refuses he has a problem.
When the two reconcile, they both look at each other. Colin’s got track marks on his veins, bruised to hell, and looks like a bum. Trace is thinning, he looks unhealthily skinny. Trace starts yelling, about Colin being an addict, and they break up.
Colin goes on being a junkie, trying to hide his habit (unsuccessfully) from his parents, and ends up dropping out, and moving into an apartment with a 25 year old man, who abuses Colin. Colin is just happy to have his Horse.
Trace is spiraling out of control. He looks like a skeleton, he’s throwing up the meals forced down his throat, and finally ends up swallowing a bunch of pills down in attempt to off himself. His sister makes him throw them back up, and takes him to the hospital, his parents trailing along.
Colin is just coming down from a high when he gets the news that Trace is in the hospital, and he makes his way to the hospital.
Eventually, Colin and Trace decide that they can’t live without each other. Colin agrees to quit using drugs, go to a rehab, and Trace says he’ll start eating, and stay away from prescription drugs. He ends up going to the same teen rehab for treatment that Colin does.
Then, one of two things will happen. Colin finds out, all that sex for drugs, all that sharing dirty needles, has caught up to him. He’s diagnosed with HIV. He goes into treatment, but it eventually turns to AIDS, and Colin dies with Trace beside him. Or they could just live happily ever after. What do you think should happen?

I want to take a stand against the homophobia I live with every day, and I think this would help if it ever got published, but I have zero self confidence and can’t critique my own work. Help, YA?

Best answer:

Answer by Ari
I love the idea! =]
I think you should really make the reader get to know the characters, then make Colin die, and I guarentee that the reader will love the book and even cry.

Answer by ?g?4597
This honestly isn’t something I would normally read, but I’m open to anything and you’re right, there needs to be more exposure to plots and characters like this. I like the names and descriptions you used. I think the issues you have; struggling with relationships, drugs, eating disorders, etc. are all real problems today that need to be addressed. I think it’s a very ‘deep’ story with a lot of emotional issues, which could be very nice to read and write if you do it well. Just try not to bog it down with too many problems, then it can just be overwhelmingly depressing, and little confusing at times too.

Overall I think it’s a good idea. Personally, I would go with the death ending. I’m just that kind of a person who doesn’t necessarily enjoy happy endings and it would kind of be a moral to the story, that bad choices will catch up to you and you will have to pay for it. And plus, it’s an emotional pull for the reader after they’ve gotten to ‘know’ the character. Either way, it’s your story, do as you wish.

Good luck. 🙂

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